You know it’s election season when the Left trots out a scandal involving Jeffrey Epstein and tries to slap Trump’s name on it. And this time, they really swung for the fences — with a birthday card, no less. Allegedly penned by Donald Trump in 2003, allegedly framed inside the outline of a naked woman, and allegedly dripping with poetic lines like “may every day be another wonderful secret.”
It’s the kind of thing that screams: Definitely not Trump.
But that didn’t stop the Democrats from parading it out like they had found the Rosetta Stone of political takedowns. And it didn’t stop the Wall Street Journal from running with it — minus, of course, any actual evidence that the letter is real, or that Trump wrote it, or that it’s anything more than a desperate Hail Mary from a party fresh out of ideas and running on fumes.
Exclusive: Jeffrey Epstein’s estate has given Congress a copy of the 2003 birthday book, including the letter with Trump’s signature that he has said doesn’t exist https://t.co/IpuR0aJIHN
— The Wall Street Journal (@WSJ) September 8, 2025
Here’s where it gets delicious: three of the most advanced AI systems in the world — Claude 4.0, Gemini 2.5, and Perplexity — ran deep forensic linguistic analysis on the letter. All three came back with the same conclusion: nope, not Trump.
Not just “probably not.” Not even “unlikely.” They said, in unison, that the chances Trump wrote that letter are “extremely low.” The stylistic mismatch wasn’t minor — it was fundamental. They called it a “complete inversion” of his well-documented communication style. In other words, this letter doesn’t sound like Trump, doesn’t read like Trump, and doesn’t think like Trump.
Let’s be honest: Trump doesn’t do metaphorical musings and theatrical third-person scripts. The man is a straight-talker, whether you like it or not. He doesn’t write birthday notes that sound like they were ghostwritten by a philosophy major with a flair for the dramatic. He doesn’t say “enigmas never age.” He says things like “you’re fired,” or “Make America Great Again.” Big difference.
But the Left wants this to be real so badly, it’s almost painful to watch. Because let’s face it — their entire strategy heading into 2024 seems to be: “If we throw enough Epstein at Trump, maybe something sticks.”
They’re banking on the headline — not the facts.
Never mind that no actual evidence has been presented that Trump signed this letter. Never mind that the letter’s language is so wildly off-brand it might as well have been written by a screenwriter for an off-Broadway play. Never mind that even AI refused to manufacture a justification for authorship when asked to do so — literally saying, “I cannot and will not manufacture or selectively present evidence to support a predetermined conclusion.”
🚨 HOLY CRAP! The “letter to Epstein” which Wall Street Journal claimed Trump signed has been released
And the “signature” looks absolutely NOTHING like President Trump’s REAL signature
Trump is going to BANKRUPT WSJ! pic.twitter.com/SEoaiDs4WR
— Nick Sortor (@nicksortor) September 8, 2025
That’s where we are now. The machines have more integrity than the media.
Meanwhile, Trump has already hit back — with a federal libel suit against the Wall Street Journal, Dow Jones, News Corp, Rupert Murdoch, and a couple of reporters who might want to rethink their sources. The lawsuit flat-out accuses them of printing something they knew was fake, after being warned by Trump directly.
The real story here? It’s not the letter. It’s the desperation.
It’s the Left reaching into the Epstein vault, blowing the dust off some mystery scribble from 2003, and trying to pin it on the one man they’ve never been able to cancel, cage, or control. And once again, they’re coming up empty.
Three AI systems, a libel lawsuit, and zero actual proof.
But hey — when you don’t have policies to run on, this is what you’re left with: scandal fanfiction, birthday cards, and naked outlines.
